Today we are going to Gillette Castle. It is so beautiful. The weather is perfect...maybe a little on the chilly side, but still the warmest day we have had in a while. Also the first weigh-in means no walking today. That is a big deal for me because I missed the Cranberry Challenge because Anthony needed help catching up. Which he did… Hooorrah!!! There is a huge excitement in the air and also a cloud of anxiety. The excitement is due to the hard work that is going to manifest itself into pounds lost when the marchers step on the scale. The cloud of anxiety is because the marchers are torn with a decision to go back and make up Shane’s miles or vote him off. Today is the epitome of bitter sweet. Well let the games begin.
The weigh in went great. Everyone was fairly pleased with their weight loss. I was amazed by some and felt like a few others need to step up to the plate… or should I say away from the plate. HA, HA. After the weigh-in, the celebration seemed to die down and transform into more of a morose ambience. I can’t help but think this heavy feeling that has taken over such a fantastic day has something to do with the vote off. We all tried to regroup after the weigh-in. We are trying to eat lunch and return to the castle this afternoon to see who goes and who stays. There is no doubt that everyone here is not equipped with enough information and behavioral growth to leave yet. More time is needed to help cultivate new behaviors and teach how to change the environment of the marchers at home so the environment at home is conducive to their new behaviors and weight loss.
The Marchers entered one by one and received a chalk board tablet that may be used to write a fellow marcher’s name down to vote them out of the march. Everyone was taking this very seriously. I could tell they were all contemplating Shane’s fate. My personal struggle was two-fold. I know that Shane could use more time to help learn about nutrition and exercise and lose additional weight, but I also needed Shane to stay because he was instrumental in helping me encourage the team. I felt like he and I had the same goal when it came to bringing hope for some of these that came here broken and hopeless. I wasn’t sure if the team dynamic would morph into something negative if we lost such a huge part of out team. But we were about to find out.
As the votes were turned over each marcher had a chance to explain their decision. Every time Shane’s name was shown on a tablet I felt as though I was being beat down. Literally beat down. Instantly I knew we had lost him. I don’t think viewers will understand the emotion and the incredible remorse that is experienced from losing Shane. We have only known him for two weeks. But try to understand this…for the last two weeks we have walked 65 miles, in torrential rain and freezing temperatures. Shane was with us 24/7 as we experienced sites and sounds in the deep woods of Massachusetts and Connecticut. The 12 marchers grow so close so fast because all of them were ripped out of their safe homely environments and thrown into this new experience trying to reinvent their every thought. They learned to depend on each other for encouragement, and learned to trust each other to the point of being completely vulnerable to each other. These circumstances bring people together very fast and to a very deep level.
As the tablets were turned over with Shane’s name, all of the marchers explained their reasoning for voting Shane out. The intense words echoed in my head even tonight as I recollect the day. The marchers felt like Shane was unable to continue. They felt as though they had to stop him from permanently injuring his feet. The exclaimed that money had nothing to do with their decision nor did the thought of having to re-walk all of his uncompleted miles. Everyone felt like this is what was best for Shane. I lay down tonight not blaming any of the team. I know they did what they felt was right for Shane and the team. I hate to lose anyone that has the will to continue. But maybe it is what is best so he can return home to heal and start his own Fat March. Perhaps Shane didn’t need us as much as we needed him. Shane is on his way home, and he will be sorely missed. DC is not a stopping point…it was to be a starting point for the rest of his life. He just gets to start a little sooner than the rest of us.
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